Tuesday, June 8, 2010

A LITTLE SLIP_ PART1

A little slip

:beep:
“abe, its recording. Say something.”
“Oh crap you caught me off guard. Fine I’l start! (clears his throat) LONAVALA… paradise on earth. On this historical day five brave hearts embark upon this dangerous journey to conquer the land of LONAVALA.”
Cameraman says “dude that’s lame!”
“What the hell! Hey I am in my zone dude! Let it play. I know you’ll like it! Anyways to the one’s that watch us. We five brave hearts from the land unknown come to begin our journey to the land of lonavala. This monsoon is going to be a monsoon none of us will ever forget. And hence begins our journey…okay this is sounding really lame…let‘s take it again…. LO…”
CLICK. The video pauses and the frame freezes. On screen you have a young twenty year old with a smug smile and a goofy face staring back at the room.
From a dark room watching this video comes a hoarse stern voice, “ Sir this video was found from their car. I believe it can help us.”
“isn’t this an accident? Why cant we just shut it down?” another voice shot in the dark.
The same hoarse voice responded, “ Because this is no ordinary accident. This can become a high profile case. We cant just shut it down. The anonymous call changed everything. Media coverage is our biggest worry. We are under tremendous pressure to get to the bottom of this.”
A deep voice responded, “ do we have all of them in custody?”
“yes sir, they are all waiting outside.”
“Have you covered the crime site?”
“we have sealed it off to visitors. But we couldn’t get much. The only thing we have are these video tapes and the statements of these kids.”
“hmmm… put each of them in a separate room and we will interrogate them individually! Lets see which one of them is lying!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I remember what my old man had told me as I was about to get on the train to go to my new college. He told me, “ Son you are going on a journey that would decide your life ahead. So DON’T MESS IT UP!” and did I mess up my life. But I hade four partners in crime. My friends. My college buddies. The people I booze with, the people I loot for money and the assholes who leave me with an empty wallet, every chance they get.
Living with them through the up’s and downs taught me a lot about life. And I guess we struggled a lot to survive and had to fight to sustain our friendship. Things always get complicated when you start falling in love with your best friend. But I really thought we’d been through it all. I planned this trip to lonavala to bring them all back. Its tough work but when Roshini came up and told me all the undercurrents that nearly destroyed each of us I knew it was time to do something.
So the moment our last paper got over and my buddies started pouring out from their horrid life ending experiences ( for all except Sameera) I left each of them a text.
The text was simple:- Meet me @ 6. Nr our colg gate. Bring toothbrush, 3 pairs of clean underwear, ur own towel n cams. Be there on time. M takin u places J
I knew how each of them must’ve reacted. Roshini would’ve smiled and followed the text message to every core detail. Gunjan would be jumping up and down on his bed. He knew I’d arrange for the booze and getting drunk was the only state that kept him happy after exams. My best friend super geek Sanjay would be half asleep when he’d see the message and would give me half a smile, call me a bad word and start packing. Because he could never let me go alone. And finally Sameera, she’d be the only one who’d text me back asking where we were going, how would we go, what arrangements have been made… etc etc. its not easy to take Sameera Trivedi out on a spontaneous trip. Never in my life have I ever seen her take an adventure without planning it right down to the very last detail. Her motto in life if you plan it right you’ll end up having more fun, and what can be better than organized fun. I barf every time I hear it.
So I stood there by my Red Ferrari ( okay its an INDICA). I am no AMBANI. But me and Gunjan call it the FERRARI. Because we have gone to ‘high’ places in that indica. Its my prized possession. I had to get First class for two consecutive semesters in order to lay my hands on that sweet ride. My father is a wise trader. His conditions demanded a first class result, an economical budget of 25k per semester and no piercing in private or public parts of my body till at least my first year and then Ferrari would be mine. All mine. So I cheated shamelessly, have unpaid accounts in several places and I got nothing pierced but something tattooed. After all the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

I stood by my Ferrari thinking about my old man I saw the four heroes coming through the gate. Over packed roshani, under packed Gunjan, smartly packed Sanjay and an agitated Sameera came walking towards me. Gunjan jumped right next to the driver seat and Roshini and Sanjay quietly sat in the back seat. As I was about to take my seat Sameera pulled me back and began the lecture I had heard every time we ever did something crazy. Her lips were moving and I could actually lip synch. I felt like I am her groupie and she was my rock god. And I was mouthing the words to her most popular song. It was the usual how can you be so irresponsible and such a huge prick. You cant reply. I have worrying parents I need to answer too. I don’t have money growing on trees. It’s not that easy for a girl to just jump into a car and drive off to neverland. You know you had me worried. I haven’t slept a wink since you told me this and I had been up all night. Blah blah blah.
Once her siren was off she took her seat still agitated. Poor Sanjay. He was stuck between two women who wouldn’t make his journey any easier. As soon as we hit the road. Sameera dozed off. And she is a drooler. While Roshini had this irritating habit of playing annoying car games from the usual ‘20 questions’ to ‘add the number plate numbers’ . Sanjay being the coy gentleman he is, he lent his right shoulder to a drooling Sameera and his left ear and sacrificed his peace of mind to Roshini’s incessant questions about who the celebrity was in Sanjay’s mind. Me and Gunjan spared a few thoughts for the unlucky bastard and then went back to discussing cricket, chics and booze. Those were my friends.

Despite their drama I knew they trusted me. Neither had asked where I was taking them. I loved them all. But I knew we all needed it. Though on the surface we were perfect but inside there were a lot of unresolved emotions that if suppressed any longer could turn nasty. At least that’s what Roshini told me. But she worded it so well I had to use it. Makes you sound smart. But I knew something she didn’t- to every problem we had ever had there was always one solution. A camp fire, booze and a lot of talking. Always worked wonders. And I knew Lonavala would make things all right. I really wish I had known then what I know now. Of how it all turned out. Could have spared me a lot of drama and most importantly of this mess we all were in. Oh man did life screw us!

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part 2 will be out in two days.... temme if you want to read more...


Tuesday, May 11, 2010

i wish i was a machine

I wish I was a machine.
I could do so much more
No heart no feelings
No pain no tears
All I’d do is my job
And no irrational fears
The people around me
Would be so happy
With me around
I’d listen but not hear
I’d talk but never connect
No connection
No relation
No expectation
No disappointment
Life’d be so easy
I wouldn’t have to smile
I wouldn’t have to cry
I could just be updated
And I wouldn’t have to die.
No one would cry
Instead people would
Applaud my latest up gradation
I would never feel nor cause
Anyone any frustration
No pain to no one
Life’d be fine
All I’d have to do
Is oil myself and polish
And the very next day
I’d really shine
Life would be so easy
Life would be fine
If all I was, was nothing
More than a simple machine

Monday, April 19, 2010

TWEET MY HEART OUT….

Not long ago I fought with a friend and the first thing I did was take that person off my friend list on face book. And I deleted her from my orkut friend list. And I made sure that she had no role in my cyber life. And yet her number is still in my cell phone and I see her almost everyday. Yet mentally I know she is so not my friend because she is off my face book friend list. that’s how things have become today. Not so long a ago strained relationships, break ups and falling out meant loosing out on friends and people that were once important in your life. Today its an entirely different ball game.

So Maya broke up with her boyfriend and she wrote a nasty poem blasting him off on her blog. She received an anonymous comment trashing her poem and ruining her creative instincts. Mathew’s latest face book status talks about a mystery woman who has stunned the daylights out of him. Sheila’s albums on face book are a hit in her campus. They always have all the popular ( read pretty ) people tagged in them. A great way to send out friend requests. Karan must be really popular, he has over 400 friends on face book. And if shahid kapoor, shashi tharoor and even Narendra Modi are tweeting why the hell should I stay behind.
Twitter, face book, and an obsolete orkut are the coffee houses of the greatest thinker’s of the 21st century. I remember my history teacher telling us of how during renaissance the great thinkers and philosophers would meet in tiny coffee houses and discuss the ways of the world in the confinements of those small stuffy coffee houses, far away from the despotism, tyranny and dictatorship that was rampant outside. And today as I sit and look at twitter to grab the latest update on the IPL fiasco and simultaneously check my face book account to see if any of my friends saw my latest update describing my current mental trauma over an examination that’s killing me I cant help but think is the cyber world our new coffee house. The world’s coffee place. A platform where public scrutiny as well as blunt expression of your own opinions, your emotions and your situations go along together in a symbiotic relationship. Cyberspace is our new platform to build everything from our social status to our political beliefs. The power men, the alpha males of our current society are using twitter with all guns blazing, unleashing a never ending and open under the table conspiracy. You have top notch celebrities discussing their over the top glamorous world on twitter, tweeting about their trips and hectic schedules. You have Mos’s describing their political dreams and agendas on twitter and you have fake Mayawati profiles on face book talking about the next statue and its position.
Why go to the popular faces, think of your own face book life. All your old friends, old photographs and status updates. From blog posts to 140 character status updates cyberspace has given our society something that was so exclusive a few decades ago. Cyberspace has given us our very own global coffee house where we can narrate our tales of heart breaks, our ideas for our future, our fears and worst of all our opinions about the present scene.
Each and everyone of us has at some time or the other punched in that frustrated one liner specifically aiming at that someone special who was the reason for all the drama in our life. Or punched in that romantic song to tell the world ( and all those interested) that someone is in a romantic mood. Or openly flirt with that guy/ gal you just cant take your eyes off. With utmost honestly just ask yourself, don’t you wait to see the comments on your own photograph or your own status update right after you posted it. don’t you open twitter just to see what tharoor posted or who is chetan bhagat talking about now.
Facebook is your own modern way of having a heart to heart with the world. You throw an idea, an emotion or just a thought out there for the world ( that you created by accepting friend requests) to see and scrutinize. Sometimes you find a stranger you cant see but still can talk to or sometimes your find an old friend you cant believe you lost touch with. And most of the time you just end up saying what you never were able to on the face through you latest tweet or face book update. The world has definitely become smaller. And yet the platform to open up and discuss ideas and opinions widened.
Be it a heart to heart with your friend or an open attack on something you don’t support face book and twitter are the new coffee houses of the 21st century.
Cyber space gives you a fiercely independent and unmonitored doorway into a whirlpool of the world. Access what you want, follow what you like and comment on as you wish. From analyzing you daily luck to finding out whom your going to marry in the next few years you have all your answers right there in front of you! I guess having a heart to heart is out dated but tweeting about the way you feel is just right. After all we are the SMS generation… ;)

Thursday, April 8, 2010

LAB RAT

LAB RAT!
They sat under the starry night in the same place they had occupied not so long ago. Hand in hand
they stared at the wonderful starry sky overhead lost in a dreamy world. At least one of them was. She couldn’t stop thinking of how lucky she felt. This guy wasn’t perfect. He wasn’t anything like she had ever imagined. He was different but something in him had made her fall for him. And despite denying it all along they had by some grace hooked up. It had taken him almost half a year to convince her that he was in love with her. She never believed it but when he persisted she had too. After all he was the guy she wanted.
Their love story was like every other yet it had something special sprinkled all over it. The girl was a clumsy oaf who had frizzy hair and a crooked nose. But her heart was special, big enough to love the world. The guy was average in all means possible. He was tall, geeky and huggable. Qualities she never thought would make her heart flip. The guy was convinced that he would always be a nobody and yet to the girl he meant everything. He always wondered why would anyone ever love him and she wondered why doesn’t he see the wonderful inside him. She saw a spark in his eyes when he played music. She saw a brightness on his face when he solved physics. She saw how his hugs were always around whenever she needed him and she knew that she loved him for all his flaws- a perfect love she had only read of in story books.
He saw that this girl loved him. He knew he was her confidant and he knew that frizzy hair and a crooked nose were the best he could do with his awkward height and geekish looks. She did care and she was always there. He knew that she loved him and so he had proposed almost six months back. It had been a year and the fireworks did fly for sometime. In both their meaningless lives they were there for each other. And the world barely knew. Who would know a librarian dating a lab assistant there were million such spread all over. He hadn’t yet introduced her to his buddies but had met all her friends. Somehow he felt shame in showing her off. Being a lab assistant he had worked under some sultry women yet women were never easy to come. Though having a girlfriend would have made him a player he somehow could never bring her up. They teased him with the finest and he was stuck with crap. At least that’s how he knew other’s would feel and somehow that mattered more than anything else. But her heart kept him tied to her. He knew that no other girl would ever do so much as he could have her do.
And for the first few months he actually felt smitten. Whenever she’d ask to meet his family or friends he’d avoid the conversation with an excuse. that’s how the relationship was. She was in love and he was enjoying being loved. Six months ago love had happened for her and she knew he’d be her guy. She knew he was special as he had a heart of gold. She loved him for all his honesty. And six months later as they sat under the starry sky all she wanted to do was give her man a simple kiss. As she drew close he drew closer and just as their lips were about to meet he pushed her away saying, “ I need to tell you something important!”
She batted her eyelashes reminiscing how he had made her life amazing by saying those magic words first. She knew that though rare and few his words always managed to bedazzle her. She waited for him to speak and took his hand in hers.
“I don’t love you! It was all in a moment’s heat. I hope you understand. I really need to leave. We’ll talk soon. Keep in touch!”
And he left. She sat their all alone under the same starry night. Tears in her eyes. A crack in her heart and a lot of pain she never had felt before. After all she was the girl with a crooked nose and frizzy hair who really didn’t deserve love or even a respectable goodbye. They barely talked. She called him he avoided her as much as he could. And she never got to say goodbye.
Today she is still a girl with a crooked nose, frizzy hair and a broken heart. And he is with his buddies comparing whose supervisor is hotter!
Life is too big an experience and love is too big a risk. You never give your heart it gets taken away. so when you get it back all tattered into pieces you can either sit and cry or give life another chance.

Friday, March 19, 2010

another brick in the wall

Today as I sit with my textbooks open on my table, trying really hard to understand all the techno gibberish that I never seem to get a hang of my mind wanders (as it always does). I have been in worse situations but I always knew how to get out and right now academics is a looming demon sitting on my head sucking all my free thinking away. I feel like a criminal wandering but I must for with out musing about life there is no meaning to living ;).
My mind wanders through the world, through the mind’s of great men and women whose ideas amaze me and most of all through my own life. Getting philosophical as always I wonder how things change all the time yet at the end of the day you end up doing the very same thing you did yesterday. I can have a war in the morning, get my mind fucked working on some circuit and almost consider suicide rather than attending another text book lecture by another professor ( they all seem the same to me with their old school ways and text book concepts) but at the end of the day I will sit in my room on my chair staring at my pc’s screen checking out Facebook and Gmail. There are so many options to pass your time. You can play Farmville, or sims and create your own virtual world. You can sit in a friend’s room and gossip about the world. You can just sleep, the best time pass till date. But none of this seems remotely challenging or meaningful. I feel like a useless person who can do nothing more than put status updates on face book.
At this precise moment the only challenge I face is acing subjects I have no clue of, which seems more of a mandatory necessity rather than an undertaken adventure and getting over some personal issues. Yet there is nothing I can do about something that affects me so much. I fear I am becoming another brainwashed fragment of the mass. Under culture or maybe under cult and trends people cant seem to realize how similar they are becoming to one another. We restrict ourselves to staying with people who have a fixed idea of things. We prefer to behave what suits our peers or our authority and we judge each other at every step we take. The worst feeling is to feel suppressed by authority that is irrational. No voice no say. All you have to do is mind your own business and move on. Either become a snitch or be prepared to be put on trial. As long as you are calm, quiet and sitting in a silent corner you are fine. Don’t question the decisions that affect your life, your friends or are simply too harsh. If you voice what you feel you’ll be on your way out of your cocoon. You can have special treatment and can be excused from diplomacy rules and actions if and only if you are willing to give certain special services that include information about the working and functioning of your own community.
As a child you are taught ideals, ideals that tell you, you must stand up for what you think is fundamentally correct. You are taught that the authority you are under must be fair. You are led to believe that the world you are in is a democracy that gives you freedom to think the way you want. Freedom to live, freedom to think, freedom to express, freedom to love, freedom to experience new things, freedom to be different and freedom to be able to explore are essential parts of developing as a human being. And when these freedoms are practiced they are tagged as vigilantism. Rebellion was a fine word to classify curiosity that the majority under the rule experienced but to crucify members who are willing to bend the rules as terrorists is an direct attack to the very ideals we were supposed to grow with. If we cant stand up to a simple institute where our basic rights are under threat and we are incapacitated to do anything what will we do when we step out into the world. Under the claim of privatization our authorities claim that they can destroy our future if we dare to have different ideas. The threat is not to set us straight but to scare us, suppress us. To prevent anyone from ever doing anything. it’s a scary thought, a scary thought indeed that despite of living in a free world we are enslaved by our own fears. They call us the future of tomorrow and yet everything we try to do, be it to have fun or to just be different or just express an opinion, is classified as out of control and criminal in nature. Such is the institute that builds a tomorrow. Such is the place that will teach us to become responsible citizen’s of a nation.
Till school each of us was taught to stand up to wrong and become strong and idealistic. In college we were supposed to learn maturity, responsibility and explore what growing up should mean. when young you have fun for you have no care in the world. But fierce independence, freedom and rational open thinking has been replaced with fear. Fear that if we did something that the big huge bully didn’t like then we would get a beating for it. I hope you understand what I mean. :-)

Saturday, October 31, 2009

an ode to a lady who refused to live by the world's ways....

in a small town of this large country there lived a woman, a woman with a family, a woman with a life and a woman who had a fierce air of self reliance about her. a few days ago this woman passed away. without a sound, without any noise just like that she left this big bad world leaving behind an entire family speechless and shocked. tears were shed, words of praise were passes, her life was admired and her character was idealized. this woman left behind her entire lifetime in her tiny home. this home was everything to her and everything for her. she had refused to live in the luxuries her successful progeny had to offer just so that she could live in that tiny broken house where her entire life had began. the house that she had built with her husband, where she had grown her family and the house where her beloved husband had breathed his last breath. this woman was no ordinary woman. she was a woman who lived life with the ferocity of a warrior not letting old age or the words of the world slow her down. not only did she not bring up wonderful children who grew to be set individuals of the society but also managed to keep an impossible lot of related siblings stay together despite their underlying friction. this woman wasn't easy to please, she was not easy to mess with. those whom she loved were loved like they couldn't be loved anymore and those whom she loathed couldn't have been loathed more than they were loathed. she had a heart, a huge heart that had enough love for all her children and grand children. a heart that knew that love could only be imparted in its purest form and that is free from any inhibitions or expectations. despite disappointments she loved, despite failures she supported and despite all the baggage that every family carries she kept everyone together. she was a woman determined who never conceded to life. she instilled in each of her children a respect for the family they belonged to and the love and commitment that they owed to keep that family together.
she was a woman who epitomises they way every individual in today's world should live. compromises were never in her dictionary. she lived by her own rules. and her life was looked at and admired by her family in the past three days. a life of 77 years was found in the corners of the house she had once lived in. old memories were hidden in old cards, photos and diaries. her children found their own childhood and reconnected with that old feeling of their lives as innocent carefree children. for from that tiny house which belonged to that old woman there were 8 More lives that went on to affect many many more lives. she left behind a legacy, an answer that can perhaps solve a lot of problems that an individual forced to grow up faces today.
the most wonderful part about her was her ability to live life on her own terms. she knew her strengths and never let her weaknesses get the better of her. she never let the world label her as something or someone. she lived independently and that fire inside her transcended through the world. it was this inherent stubbornness inside her that allowed her to live with such freedom. never afraid, never scared and never put down by anyone she lived her life like a queen does. yet her simplicity couldn't have been more than that of a saint. such was this woman who lived her own life on her own terms. when her death shocked the world the one's close to her revealed the life she had lived and a wonderful life it was. a life with a family. and at her death you had the entire family gathered and united by a singular grief and that grief of loosing someone so influential so suddenly. god called her and somewhere in heaven too she is living life in her own way on her own terms and not even god can change that.
this wonderful woman was my grandmother. the last time i saw her face my eyes were filled with tears. i will always live with the regret of not being able to say goodbye. she was a huge part of my life and my mother's best friend. her death left me with the realisation that how influential she had been in my own life. thus leaving me with a void. i cant seem to find closure. in my own life i was too blinded not to see the solutions she held to the problems i face. but finding out about her life gave me a strength, a strength to fight it out. she was a warrior in her own way. her death leaves me with a heavy heart and tearful eyes but i am proud of my grandmother. her life reminded me that i too have her legacy somewhere in my DNA and if i can be half the woman she was i might get far far ahead in life. rest in peace my dear Nani. i love you from the core of my heart and a part of you will always stay with me.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

this is why i am hot :P

This is why I am hot! :P

Captain kullu. That’s what my beloved friends call me these days. And though I hate that name it always brings a smile on my face. The past few weeks were literally like being stuck in a reality s how with tons of drama and unnecessary emotions. A simple life is a luxury but one filled with drama is an addiction. A hailstorm that’s how I describe the time that I am going through. At first there was this wicked villain who has apparently become my mother’s best friend these days who kept calling me to his crummy office and lecturing me on how wrong my life is. Parents and villains is the most deadliest combination you will ever find. I’d rather pull all my teeth out than sit and listen to this bitter man bash everything that’s wrong with my generation. Such narrow mindedness and lack of ability to really appreciate the world really disappoints me. If only people could rise from their own narrow moulds and ideas and accept the beauty of the time we live in things would be so much better. At least I wouldn’t have to explain every tiny freaking detail of my life to my mother had it not been for this nosey villain. Every body has a mogambo in their life and mine is this arrogant man. I would love to just state my point but all that would land me is an F grade. The death of democracy I tell you… :P

Had villains and worried parents been my only problem I would have been a normal teenager barely surviving a course she is barely interested in (well I am that but more too) but then you have crummy friends who prove that every living moment its get harder and harder for you to hate them. They suck, they’re crummy and they cant do one thing right and that’s why I love having them around. Its really their imperfections and their inabilities that glorify their niceties and their awesomeness hence making them more and more irresistible. I guess that’s why its so easy for some of them to hurt me so easily. Frankly all their mistakes are rewarded with my own style of punishment… excessive drama on my part ( my imperfection) but when one of them really manages to hurt me where it hurts the most I am left as a crippled baby on the side. If you really hurt me I wont bother you rather I’d leave you alone and flee the moment I see you because looking at your face world remind me of the moment you so easily managed to hurt me. But if you stand a chance of quick forgiveness I will hang around and just wait for you to make that face or say the right thing and then surprise you with a bear hug (something I am really good at). Well the greatest friend at times do the most hurtful things. You can either forgive and when that becomes hard just blow their heads of with a gun

As for the hailstorm that I am going through. See a multi- distracted mind like my own cant just sit on a chair and study all day long ( unlike a roomy I cant name) so I tend to get attracted to doing things I am good at. Trying new things making new friends and being there for them. Working and making magic happen, using word (my only strength) to create pieces I can be proud of, dance music and madness are things that have always been my life’s fascination. And fascination is a hard emotion to overcome. I tried keeping a low profile, I tried not being so involved so that I could study (LOL) but sadly it didn’t work. I guess I need all this to keep myself occupied otherwise this mind of mine totally out of control just like me can create ideas and theories that at times terrify me. Thinking too much is a crime that’s what some one once told me and making my own world is dangerous. Well if I ever find that person I’d laugh at his face because I am amused by the ease with which he classified my mind and my thought into such a huge cliché. I am proud of my ability to think non stop and know things other people might take a lifetime to realize. And to all those who find it frustrating all I can advice is without trying, without knowing and without every experiencing the empowerment that having an opinion or an observation gifts you don’t just judge things in the narrow mould you have created. Open up or remain rigid. Then maybe one day you too might be an arrogant villain somewhere desperately trying to create a community of students whose parents you can be best friends with. Narrow mindedness is the biggest enemy of free thought. Hence I have involved myself with things and challenges that were once a part of my dreams. I cant comprehend why I had gotten into a shell afraid of my own high hopes. I guess fear of failure was a dominating factor but I never realized that this fear made me a lesser version of myself. So now I come out all guns blazing. I am not stopping myself. Well I have. When you have the kind of villains I have doing everything can become a little tough. But ultimately I am not someone you can tame so I still do the same things I used too maybe even more but now with an ambition in mind. And these new endeavors have led me to finding new people thus broadening my own opinion on a lot of things and surprisingly has initiated so many new friendships that the pain I had from old ones slowly is slipping into some corner of my heart. Ultimately the one’s who were genuine are still a major part of my life and the rest are just people I am hanging on too with dear life. But one day my grip will slip and when that happens I wont be the one in loss.
In the end it surprises me that I can find strangers or acquaintances who understand things or show emotions that I need to hear on some days that are bad. I guess god has a special way of letting you hear what you want but god might be a sadist somewhere because its always been so that the wrong person ends up saying the right thing and the right person always ends up saying the wrong thing. Life is a tragedy and god is Shakespeare.
So being totally frank all I can say is that I am addicted to this drama that life is holding around me. I don’t like it but I know that life is no dull documentary. Every person who is special in my life will have problems and my own problems always run in the background and it is that camaraderie that we have with ourselves that will take us through all the drama thus leading us to a happy and new beginning. Feeling like I am full of life right now though I am sitting in a classroom forced to study due to my own laziness and lack of interest in the course that I am studying. I guess you just cant fulfill your heart’s desire and your grade card at the same time. So captain kullu ( I am starting to like this name) signing of into the horizon on a new journey with a lot of cargo and a lot hope.