Tuesday, May 26, 2009

DISCOVERING YOURSELF...

ever notice a the people around you? have you ever felt you don't belong where you stand even though you seem to be talking to everyone. people enjoy listening to you go on and on about small incidents and your experiences. your the life in the room. people hang on to your every word and you are the only one who initiates conversation. the scariest thought is when this initiation has led to every important relationship that you have and the scary part is whether its just based on your ability to talk or the connection you have. the world is a stage as Shakespeare said but i wonder is it really a stage and all of us acting out parts that we presume the world will accept?
being yourself is not easy and many times exposing the real you can really hurt you bad. because we are all vulnerable when we become transparent. security comes when you are sure that no one can just see through you. that hope of mystery that envelopes every person somehow gives a sense of security.
how often have you walked into a room, spent time and left feeling you just wasted a few very good hours of your life. obviously every moment of life cant be made worthwhile but when you are stranded in a sea of people you cant even relate too and to be accepted you have to strain on finding common ground you often end up feeling whether it's worth it. sometimes you find a connection with someone you meet. but you cant always be surrounded by such people. every person is an outcast somewhere or the other. but the world is really a stage and every situation you face a scene where you have to portray one particular emotion or one particular character. though there may b e no common ground between who you really are and the character you are expected to play but unlike a stage or a play or a movie that plays on stage the stage of life never closes. it is really only those moments that you are alone with yourself when you discover things about yourself.
a tiny experience that i wanna share with the world- one fine trip, one fine exercise and something amazing happened. to many this might mean nothing but i target those few who would perhaps understand what i mean.
while on a trekking trip we had an exercise where for fifteen minutes everyday we were made to sit alone in between nature on a hill amidst pure nature and no human contact was allowed. the very first time i tried it i found it to be extremely boring as staring at mountains wasn't my idea of outdoor adventure. but as the days passed i started enjoying this experience more than anything in the world. i guess today when i look back i realise that the reason i enjoyed it so much was because it brought me in touch with myself. and then and there i transformed from a shallow superficial factory made child to a human being. it was beautiful. these fifteen minutes were strategically placed at that point of time in the day when the afternoon ended and the cold evenings began. it was a camping trip and the afternoons were the only warm time throughout the day. rest of the time it was very very cold. so when that time started we would be warm and when it ended we would be cold. i could actually feel the winds change. and somehow it felt like they talked to me. bringing messages i could somehow comprehend. i kissed my parents sitting on that mountain every day. i guess i held the belief that the winds took my kisses to my lonely parents sitting miles away from me and missing me like hell...
its just amazing. try it and give it a chance. find your spot and talk to nature.you will feel the change. :)

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