Saturday, October 31, 2009

an ode to a lady who refused to live by the world's ways....

in a small town of this large country there lived a woman, a woman with a family, a woman with a life and a woman who had a fierce air of self reliance about her. a few days ago this woman passed away. without a sound, without any noise just like that she left this big bad world leaving behind an entire family speechless and shocked. tears were shed, words of praise were passes, her life was admired and her character was idealized. this woman left behind her entire lifetime in her tiny home. this home was everything to her and everything for her. she had refused to live in the luxuries her successful progeny had to offer just so that she could live in that tiny broken house where her entire life had began. the house that she had built with her husband, where she had grown her family and the house where her beloved husband had breathed his last breath. this woman was no ordinary woman. she was a woman who lived life with the ferocity of a warrior not letting old age or the words of the world slow her down. not only did she not bring up wonderful children who grew to be set individuals of the society but also managed to keep an impossible lot of related siblings stay together despite their underlying friction. this woman wasn't easy to please, she was not easy to mess with. those whom she loved were loved like they couldn't be loved anymore and those whom she loathed couldn't have been loathed more than they were loathed. she had a heart, a huge heart that had enough love for all her children and grand children. a heart that knew that love could only be imparted in its purest form and that is free from any inhibitions or expectations. despite disappointments she loved, despite failures she supported and despite all the baggage that every family carries she kept everyone together. she was a woman determined who never conceded to life. she instilled in each of her children a respect for the family they belonged to and the love and commitment that they owed to keep that family together.
she was a woman who epitomises they way every individual in today's world should live. compromises were never in her dictionary. she lived by her own rules. and her life was looked at and admired by her family in the past three days. a life of 77 years was found in the corners of the house she had once lived in. old memories were hidden in old cards, photos and diaries. her children found their own childhood and reconnected with that old feeling of their lives as innocent carefree children. for from that tiny house which belonged to that old woman there were 8 More lives that went on to affect many many more lives. she left behind a legacy, an answer that can perhaps solve a lot of problems that an individual forced to grow up faces today.
the most wonderful part about her was her ability to live life on her own terms. she knew her strengths and never let her weaknesses get the better of her. she never let the world label her as something or someone. she lived independently and that fire inside her transcended through the world. it was this inherent stubbornness inside her that allowed her to live with such freedom. never afraid, never scared and never put down by anyone she lived her life like a queen does. yet her simplicity couldn't have been more than that of a saint. such was this woman who lived her own life on her own terms. when her death shocked the world the one's close to her revealed the life she had lived and a wonderful life it was. a life with a family. and at her death you had the entire family gathered and united by a singular grief and that grief of loosing someone so influential so suddenly. god called her and somewhere in heaven too she is living life in her own way on her own terms and not even god can change that.
this wonderful woman was my grandmother. the last time i saw her face my eyes were filled with tears. i will always live with the regret of not being able to say goodbye. she was a huge part of my life and my mother's best friend. her death left me with the realisation that how influential she had been in my own life. thus leaving me with a void. i cant seem to find closure. in my own life i was too blinded not to see the solutions she held to the problems i face. but finding out about her life gave me a strength, a strength to fight it out. she was a warrior in her own way. her death leaves me with a heavy heart and tearful eyes but i am proud of my grandmother. her life reminded me that i too have her legacy somewhere in my DNA and if i can be half the woman she was i might get far far ahead in life. rest in peace my dear Nani. i love you from the core of my heart and a part of you will always stay with me.

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